Saying YES in Life

Mark Pincus hosted a sneak preview of Sally Potter's film - YES, for San Francisco bloggers this past weekend in San Francisco.

The goal? Obviously to draw attention to and spread the word about this fascinating, artistic flick packed with passion, international zest, cultural and religious conflict and connection, death, unresolved family issues and love.

It is written in verse, so poetic to the end and most of the actors do a fairly decent job at keeping the intensity going despite the fact that there are slow lingering periods that we, the audience feel.

She even manages to toss in three intense dialogues in a kitchen where the main character's lover (Simon Abkarian from Beirut) works. We hear a lot of variations of fuck and fuckin' in Scottish and Irish accents in this scene that draws a strong contrast to the softer more romantic poetic verse throughout the rest of the movie and their black colleague who praises Jesus more than once in the midst of all the 'fucks.'

Joan Allen plays the main character, an American woman who moved to the states from Belfast as a child. Miserable with her marriage to a formal, conservative and "needing to be in control of all emotions" British husband, she seeks an intense, romantic and poetic affair with a man, who was raised with Islam, a stark contrast to her catholic upbringing and influence by her dying great auntie who didn't believe in God 'at all.'

While some in the room couldn't see the connection between the two, I understood their starving hearts; hearts that were merely trying to be heard and more importantly 'loved' amidst the clutter of their surroundings. In struggling to do so however, they seemed to lose what they valued most.

Emotions erupt over 'being true to self,' politics, religion, racial prejudice, money and passion. (one garage scene also touched on her struggle as a woman in what seemed to be a losing argument where no side could win, nor could either make sense of the conflict. (like so many starts and ends to religious conflict and battles over heart).

Later, I met Davia Nelson, a representative from the Telluride Film Festival, also a friend of actress Joan Allen and a producer of NPR's Hidden Kitchens.

Summarized here is a little background on some of the other characters:
Sam Neill plays the betrayed and betraying politician husband, Sheila Hancock the beloved aunt and Shirley Henderson the philosophical cleaner who witnesses the trail of dirt and heartbreak the lovers leave behind them, as they embark on a journey that takes them from London and Belfast to Beirut and Havana.

Having had an intense romance with a Moroccan man when I lived in London, I absorbed, recalled and relived so many scenes from the film.

Memories of old came flashing back as I watched the screen before me, i.e., that eventual painful religious discussion that doesn't make sense to either one of you, the one day realization that while you never noticed the color of each others skin, sadly those around you did and made you aware of it as if in someway hoping to taint your innocent love they wished they could experience themselves, the cultural boundaries and lack of them, the exotic lovemaking that came from sharing, respecting and cherishing ones differences, all of which added to each other's pleasure.

.......the joining of two distinct cultures where a second language (one which was neither's mother tongue) was the way we daily communicated. So many forces at play unveil a new empathy in ways you never thought possible.

More perhaps may have connected with the other powerful touching scenes, like the dreaded silence across the table with someone you once loved and can no longer reach or perhaps it simply becomes too painful to do so. Where did it break down and why? And then we ask ourselves those questions for months and months until we start the traditional mourning process and simply move on.

And lastly the beautifully serene, yet sad and amusing scene, where Aunty dies in a Belfast hospital room. We hear her last words although she never speaks. It's the words the dying want to say when they hear you sobbing at their bedside; its the words they wish they had the strength to say months before when you were in denial that they would soon leave your side......You quietly knew but just couldn't bring yourself to accept the fact that their last breath was fast approaching and inevitable.

Again, we mourn and move on.

This film was apparently the producer's response to 9/11 with the final version only just released this month, which is the version we saw at the Delancey Screening Room. It's slated to launch in San Francisco sometime in July.

So amidst a life of ongoing battles, challenges and years of important lessons, we must say YES the movie argues. Yes to passion, yes to love, yes to empathy, yes to sorrow, yes to breathing it all in and embracing life rather than fearing it.