Go Ahead, Empower Me “Engine” She Says (Begs?)

Speaking of cars, which I wrote several posts about last week following my trip to Detroit, I’d be negligent if I didn’t share an interesting ‘car experience’ I had about four years ago, not long after I had moved to the west coast.

A friend of mine organized a "power girl’s weekend" in Portland Oregon, where women came in from all over the country for three days of gab, personal development, shopping, classes and reflection.

We did it all, from taking in speakers on feng shui, meditation, leadership and speaking to experts on breathing, eating, general wellness, fashion and you got it, cars.

Roughly 20 or so of us took over Nordstrom on a Sunday morning before the store opened to the public. We shopped, got fashion tips including ‘what not to wear’, took in afternoon haircuts and facials and created master plans on clearing clutter out of our lives and that included not just physical ‘stuff’ in our homes but things that no longer served us, which may have included people.

Towards the end of the weekend, they brought in a ‘car expert’ who was one of the few male speakers for the entire weekend, so having his energy there after being loaded with feminine energy for more than 48 hours was out-of-place. That said, what woman doesn’t want a really great car to drive? At the time, this one.

I found myself raising my hand arguing that I would never spend a lot of money on a car when I could spend money on more useful things like education, travel, fashion, food and wine. This set up an entire discussion about empowerment and whether a car or perhaps a car’s engine could empower a woman.

I thought the whole notion of this was ridiculous at the time. After all, why did I, a strong-headed, type A personality female need a damn car for empowerment? It just didn’t make any sense to me.

Remember that I grew up in a post World War II household by my grandparents, which means I 'took on' the values of a lost generation many of my colleagues missed.

Values at that time were based on being frugal, practical and making compromises, ones most Americans couldn't fathom today.

They were also based on ‘creating’ a better life for your children and their children and paving the way for their future success. In order to do that, many made sacrifices and spending a lot of money on a luxury car didn’t fall into the sacrifice bucket.

After all, any disposable income was set aside for a better school or piano lessons, so cars was a frivolous purchase and it was clear I wasn’t going to buy a new one when I turned 16, nor 18, nor 21 nor as long as I could hold out really. Why buy a new one ever was the way my grandfather thought, but then again, his tinkering made the vehicles in his lot purr well beyond 100,000 miles and that was seen as practical living.

I’m not suggesting everyone who grew up in the sixties and seventies shared those values but in working class New England, it was fairly common. Buying American was also pretty common and my family and all their friends typically bought Chevys and Fords, with Dodge being a third option to be considered and that wasn’t really until the eighties. Bring on the test drive, the car expert on that Portland weekend challenge me.

Bring on the test drive! Why not take on the challenge and keep an open mind, I told myself. I drove a Nissan and then an Audi – family sedan styles and their sports models at the time. We explored back roads and I put them to the test. I played with the fancy features on the dashboard none of my second-hand cars ever had. I sunk into the leather seats. I looked at color charts. Then, we moved into trucks.

Was Empowerment Achieved? In a way it was, but it wasn’t automatic and it didn’t happen without a fight.

And then what I discovered was that it was a fight of masculine and feminine energy. If you’re a strong female personality who spends a lot of time in a male world where your masculine energy needs to be on more often than not, you find yourself (or at least I often do) rejecting or pushing against masculine energy -- or whatever is symbolic of it at times. I quickly realized the car was one of those I had been fighting for years.

It was almost as if you didn’t want the car to make you feel vulnerable because if it did, you wouldn't be in charge anymore, or .......in control of your destiny. Driving an old clunker meant I could be in charge of "it" rather than the other way around.

Even though feminine energy loves control, 'it' also likes to be taken care of and swept of her feet at times. It doesn’t mean feminine energy can’t be in control and it often is, but if you truly want to go into your feminine, it’s about surrendering SOME THINGS and not others. It’s about visiting a different side of the coin and looking at the world in a different way.

When I realized that through ‘play’ and taking on a vehicle that had massive horse power, impressive and exquisite design and mind boggling features, you had to surrender just a little in the same way you do when you face four remote controls that dictates whether you watch a movie on your VCR or not. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, and sometimes – I kid you not – I call someone to walk me through the stupid complex process of getting different bits to work on my over-engineered stereo set up. This happens with other 'masculine toys' as well. (or should I call them 'enablers?')

Today, I still drive something modest but if I happened to win a state-of-the-art convertible in a color of my choosing and money were not an option, I’d probably go to town and get something that engulfed me more than the other way around. Cars can be empowering – and that ranges from how fast you feel the engine as you move into the fast lane when there’s a massive truck on your tail, to the design details of the console (make it more functional engineers – PLEASE), to the color choices you’re given.

I had to reject a Toyota once because the color I really wanted (and I mean really wanted), only gave me the choice of a tan leather interior if I opted for leather. Tan? What were they thinking? They lost a sale because they thought in “tans”.

I ‘get’ cars more than I ever did in the past and like most of America, listening to Car Talk brings a smile and I can’t turn it off whenever I hear it in the background. We all resonate with the stories and resonating is connecting and connecting is real.

I still love the cars of my childhood and my father’s childhood despite the fact that they’re far from “green” and are expensive to run. For my next purchase, I think my priorities would be close to what they were twenty years ago yet engine horse power, safety, environmentally friendly and killer-design would be integrated into the mix. I’m not in the market today, and I’m hoping by the time I am, the process of finding one won't be as hard and stressful as it was last time around.

Perhaps the entire car will be voice activated and wifi-enabled so I barely have to think about anything except for experiencing the journey, whether it be taking in the Montana vastness and solitude, marveling at the Colorado Rockies or stopping at Maine’s Route 1 lobster shacks.

Breaking Through with Tony Robbins on National Network NBC

“Breakthrough” is a new summer reality show on NBC with Tony Robbins, which started last week. Many know Tony from his empowerment seminars and audiotapes, which are marketed worldwide, making Tony Robbins synonymous with motivation and life coaching. He has also written books and for years, held 2 day to week long seminars on getting your life on track and creating empowering choices in your life, whether that be around relationships, finance or your professional 'destiny.'

Given that I have done a number of Tony Robbins seminars myself and have met him personally on more than one occasion, the way he is often portrayed in the press doesn't do him justice, nor is it always accurate. People still respond to old infomercials from twenty years ago - a bit like pigeon-holing Ron Howard into his role as Richie in Happy Days when years later, he has gone on to become producer and director of well-known respected films.

C'mon people, move on - haven't you progressed in your career development and the things you have done in the past two decades? Tony has come a LONG way since the late-night infomercials he did early on in his career. Today, he spends his life work not just running seminars that help change people's lives for the better, but he coaches major luminaries, politicians, sports heroes and Hollywood celebs as well. Additionally, he has a non-profit foundation, which provides assistance to the homeless, elderly and inner-city youth, and feeds more than one million people in nine countries every year through its international holiday "Basket Brigade."

The New York Times article on his NBC debut writes, "Mr. Robbins is well spoken and persuasive, but the series is a reminder of how unusual his looks are for a man in the counseling field. Enormously tall, dark, with big teeth, high cheekbones and the hint of a five o’clock shadow, Mr. Robbins looks more dangerous than safe and more wolfish than shepherdly; he could pass for a Bond villain."

Anyone who knows Tony personally would be in stitches over this description......I still laugh at it re-reading it the fifth time around. Clearly the reporter hasn't met him if they think he could pass as a Bond villain after looking in his eyes or shaking his hand. But yes, Tony is tall and has a powerful presence. But, given her reference, it makes it seem like all counselors should be shepherdly and safe. Egads. Think about it, if you're a type A athlete who is muscular and 6 foot something, might you not want a personal development life coach who can not only get you to deal with where you're stuck emotionally, but also physically match you?

I'm not a professional athlete nor am I over six foot tall and I know I'd opt for someone with Tony's energy and presence than a shepherdly, safe counselor who what, starts the clock, stares at and listens to you from across the couch for 59 minutes until the bell rings? Hell, that's not what I call transformative work even though I'm not discounting that it can be helpful for some people along their life's journey. Bottom line, there are more effective techniques and approaches out there and Tony has mastered them.

It's time to rethink the paradigm and rethink the speed at which we CAN change our lives and break our old patterns. Transformation can be almost immediate. What I mean by this is that change happens the moment you make a DECISION to make change your patterns - really make that decision.

There are countless things that Tony walks people through in his seminars to break your patterns and create a life worth living but the big one is this: Rewrite Your Story.

A rewrite isn't done by seeing a shrink for months or years on end trying to analyze why your story is what it is and slowly migrating from an old you to a new one. It happens the moment you DECIDE to rewrite that story. It's yours to create and his point is a simple one - you're the author, so why not write an incredible life story?

Some kudos for Tony's new show below. And yes, as it may appear from my tone, I am also a fan of his work. More at Breakthrough Insider.

What Defines Success For You?

Haegwan Kim interviewed me for his Law of Success 2.0 blog on entrepreneurship, social media and what defines success. When I saw how few women were on the short list, I figured I had to do it. In meeting him, I discovered a very passionate person who is working on a thesis around success, with a hope to break down the barriers to achieving success and making it possible for everyone by better understanding what it takes to get there. It was also re-published over at We Blog the World.

Take a meander over to the site for a read. There are other great interviews Haegwan has done recently with people like Frans de Waal on Primate Behavior, Jeff Sutherland, Dave Ulrich, Richard Saul Wurman and others.

A Look at Godin's Linchpin: Get Uncomfortable & Get out the Cowbell

Those who are already fans of Seth Godin's work will find his latest book Linchpin among his best, if not his best, and those who have never heard of him will get glimpses of his words of wisdom from his previous works of art Tribes, The Dip, Purple Cow and others.

A world renown branding and marketing expert, Godin's lessons and pitch to the world is really about how to live an authentic life. Sure, I love his writing and agree in principle with everything I've read, yet the real magic comes when you realize the power of meshing his Buddhist-like approach to being present, choosing happiness and YOU as the leader in charge of your life and making hard painful decisions to leave complacency and fear behind so you can start creating your real art.

He begins by reminding us what century we're living in. In other words, things have dramatically changed - we no longer have to be a faceless cog in the machinery of capitalism. We now have a choice, as the migration completes itself from two teams (management and labor) to a third team - the linchpins.

We no longer need to be faceless cogs in a bureaucratic mediocre system. We can choose our own path by stepping into our art in the same way other linchpins have done: Colonel Sanders, Jack Bauer in 24, Michael Jackson, Tony Robbins, Steve Jobs, Oprah. This is what Linchpins do - they step out of the faceless system, draw their own maps and create art that matters. Consider "this art" that you are here in this world to create, as gifts that change people and potentially change the way the world thinks.

He brings us back into the mediocre world - you know, where 'average' comes from. Among other things, he blames traditional schools which have conditioned us to do 'our jobs' and follow instructions. It makes us feel safe to fit in, doesn't it, but following the status quo has never made anyone indispensable.

Let's revisit the 'safe to fit in' part. If you think about it, when you feel most alive, the moments you can remember where you are in your zone and doing remarkable work, ask yourself, "were you fitting in or were you stepping out on a limb and creating art?" In these moments, the Linchpin took over and pushed the Lizard Brain aside. Seth refers to the Lizard Brain as the persistent obstacle that sets us back. The Lizard Brain often sabotages the progress we have made and stops us from creating our best work. Refer to a great post Seth wrote on 'quieting the lizard brain.'

The Lizard Brain stops us from saying what we think is important at the right time, and holds us back from making remarkable things.

Do not internalize the industrial model. You are not one of the myriad of interchangeable pieces, but a unique human being, and if you've got something to say, say it, and think well of yourself while you're learning to say it better.--David Mamet

Where Seth merges from taking ownership of living and winning in your own life to the business world is the crossroads where the same principles apply to the products and services you are trying to sell. You can win in the short term on selling cheaper, faster or even the best quality but where you really earn your place in the market is with humanity and leadership. He asserts: "the only way to get what you're worth is to stand out, to exert emotional labor, to be seen as indispensable, and to produce interactions that organizations and people deeply care about."

When you do the latter my friend, not only do you win and start living a remarkable life, but so will the products and services you represent. They'll take on a life of their own because that authenticity and remarkableness will ensure that your what you create is true art, whether that be a physical product, how you interact with a customer or recommendations you make to a client.

This question and response is probably one of my favorites in the whole book and there are a lot of really great take aways: "Why is society trying so hard to kill our natural-born artists?" When we try to drill and practice someone into subservient obedience, we're stamping out the artist that lives within.

This topic is a particular hot button of mine - refer to a blog post I wrote entitled: Is American Mediocrity Killing the Artist in us?

What average managers and CEOs don't embrace is the notion that the universe always provides when we allow creativity and gifts to flow back and forth, somehow not only do we win, but thrive. Zappos' corporate philosophy is a great example of this. The more you give, the more the market gives back reminds Seth. "Abundance is possible, but only if we can imagine it and then embrace it."

He talks about the NEW American Dream and how to live it, the one that markets around the world are embracing:

--Be Remarkable --Be Generous --Create Art --Make judgment calls --connect people and ideas ...and we have no choice but to reward you.

As always, Godin weaves humor into his work with titles like Would Shakespeare Blog? People will Laugh at me and Anxiety and Shenpa, the latter being a Tibetan word that roughly means 'scratching the itch.'

And, as always, he talks about the importance of passion. It's no surprise that the most successful client relationships I've ever had are with ones who are also musicians or artists. There's a line at the bottom of my business card that says "Those Who See The Invisible, Can Do The Impossible." Some people read it and are confused or even worse, don't even notice it because they don't live their lives paying attention to where remarkable may show up in the details. Others read it, pause, nod and with intention either say "nice, really nice" or something to that effect. And, others get excited and say, I love this. Chances are I wouldn't have an outstanding relationship with the former group of individuals but would be able to collectively create magic with the latter.

Let's go back to passion. Godin puts it in these parameters: passion isn't project specific, it's people specific. Some people are hooked on passion, deriving their sense of self from the act of being passionate. He goes on, "perhaps you need to get in touch with what it means to feel passionate. People with passion look for ways to make things happen. The combination of passion and art is what makes someone a linchpin."

So by now, you surely have an idea of what it mean to be a linchpin as defined by Godin. Among other things we have discussed, it's the person who makes a connection when it's not part of their job. That connection becomes a gift. Being open is art. And art is a gift.

Enter the Lizard Brain again because I know we've all had this experience. You work hard, you create your art and it falls on deaf ears. We didn't please everyone and Lizard Brain steps in to pull you back into the mediocre world to ensure you're safe and accepted by all. Remember the rejection that painter Jackson Pollock suffered through before critics declared him a genius. All of us want to make our art for an audience at the end of the day - we hope to change someone as a result of it; we likely even want to change ourselves in the process.

There must have been some mentor or friend in your life who told you before you reached adulthood - you can't please everyone -- and nor should you try. The same applies to your creations. Seth puts it in this way, "if you don't pinpint your audience, you end up making your art for the loudest, crankiest critics. And, that's a waste. Instead, focus on the audience that you choose, and listen to them, to the exclusion of all others. Go ahead and make this sort of customer happy, and the others can go pound sand." Well said Seth.

He refers to Steven Pressfields The War of Art, where Pressfield calls our inability to easily free the daemon "the resistance." Enter Seth's powerful chapter on the Resistance, a tough chapter for those fighting the shift.

Here's the resistance at work - it's your Lizard Brain again, which is the part that the daemon has no control over. He writes, "it (lizard brain) will invent stories, illnesses, emergencies, and distractions in order to keep the genius bottled up. The resistance is afraid. Afraid of what will happen to you (and to it) if the ideas get out, if your gifts are received, if the magic happens."

There is something that Tony Robbins always brings up in every seminar I've ever attended and every one of his books I've ever read: "the quality of our life is in direct proportion to the amount of discomfort (and I'd add uncertainty) we allow ourselves to live with," or something to that effect. (Tony - sorry if I got the exact quote wrong)

You get the point. Seth is on board with living and breathing this value as well and brings it up with examples throughout the book. He says, "the road to comfort is crowded and it rarely gets you there. Ironically, it's those who seek out discomfort that are able to make a difference and find their footing. Inevitably, we exaggerate just how uncomfortable we are."

I'll add - discomfort not only brings engagement and change but passion, purpose, and our true art to rise to the top and make a difference.

As I make my way through the book, I see a lot of life lessons from one of my favorite authors and buddhist thinkers: Pema Chodron, and then later, Seth references her. Why am I not surprised to learn that he's also a fan? I've read every one of her books and if you haven't, don't miss out on learning from her bright light and inspiration.

The place where Pema's insights come into play is his section on Anxiety. What Seth suggests is the very Buddhist (very Pema -- sit with it and be present) route. Frankly, it's the only way. Not only can you not unleash the Linchpin inside you if you feed that anxiety, but you'll never feel at peace with your choices or the world around you.

Sit with it, acknowledge it, explore it, watch it, befriend it...and just when you feel that its getting overwhelming and you want to flee, sit with it even longer. I've done this time and time again (I just wish I were better at it), and a funny thing happens. The pain, the suffering, the resistance starts to dissipate and fade away. It works but it's not easy to do particularly if you're new to it and even moreso, if it involves a place or person or thing that has had you in a "stuck" comfortable position for years. Time to move on.

The last thing I'll mention in reference to his book is the concept of SHIPPING. Think about how many things you've started over the years and not finished. You never shipped the damn thing - your precious art. Somewhere the Lizard Brain showed up and its annoying "it's not safe out there" little voice came up with excuses, "I don't have the time, I don't have enough money, I don't have the resources, the product or service wasn't perfect."

I have spent my life helping companies SHIP...products, services, websites, blogs, books, movies. We always ship, but sometimes the art wasn't good enough, or the timing was off, or we shipped into a market that wasn't ready for it. There were other times when we shipped the wrong thing and the real art was the idea that got tossed because the idea was too "big" - perhaps too much of a "purple cow" - for the team to handle. Fear set in. Resistance took over. The Lizard Brain won.

As I read this section and thought about how many products and services I did ship, I was brought back to the one I'm trying to ship now and how long it is taking to launch. It still hasn't shipped - part of me wants it to be perfect, part of me wants the art to be just right and part of me wants the plan to finished before I give it some wings.

The bottom line is that whenever there is lack of movement and progress, I can't sleep at night. Why? Because this launch is created from nothing but passion, nothing but art....so the conflict is between serving clients on the other side and serving my art on the other. The art will ship this month, ready or not, because I've set a date. Setting a hard date with a goal next to it moves idea and poetry in motion to reality and increase the likelihood of getting to go.

Getting to go and releasing your gift is what its about. Linchpins, he writes are "geniuses, artists and givers of gifts. They bring humanity to work, they don't leave it at home. The hard work isn't lifting or shoving or sharpening. the hard work is being brave enough to make a difference."

I'll end on a humorous but reflective note from a title in his next to the last chapter: Making the choice: MORE COWBELL. I'm not sure what visual that brings up for you but as a New Englander, it brings up a real cowbell, an old rusty burgundy cowbell that sat in our den which we used as a dinner bell when we threw large dinner parties at holiday time.

I still have that cowbell and it looks out of place in my 1930s townhouse on a steep San Francisco hill. I don't have reason to use it anymore although I've decided I'm going to think of a way to give it some life again, even if its only a few times a year. It will serve as a symbolic reminder to everyone who hears it that we all need to get out our cowbells more often than we do and ring them loudly.

As Seth so rightfully points out, "the funny thing is that learning how to add joy, create art, or contribute humanity is a lot easier than learning how to play the guitar. For some reason, we work on the technique before we worry about adding the joy."

Why not start with the joy and work backwards and see where it brings you?

Seth, thanks for shipping Linchpin, a beautifully written, engaging and inspirational contribution.

Linchpins are Everywhere: Dive for Cover!!

Linchpins Everywhere, Linchpins Everywhere -- dive for cover!! Seth Godin's latest book: Linchpin which I am 75% the way through, is one of his best. It is written in Seth's usual free flowing style with conviction and passion throughout but manages to call you to action on every page. I plan to post a book review once I turn the very last page.

As always, he's straight forward. There are chapter subheads like: Where do you hide your brilliance? When did the resistance take over your life? Where do you put the fear? And, who are you trying to please?

He's also funny: Would Shakespeare blog? From Superhero to Mediocreman (and Back Again), The Problem with Bowling, Throwing Yourself Under the Bus, and Why the Lizard Brain Wants You to be Stuck?

Tony Robbins uses a figure eight metaphor to refer to our "stuck-ness". There we are climbing the ladder towards brilliance, creativity and joy and just before we get there, we sabotage yourself because emotionally, it is as much as your 'lizard brain' can handle). In order to feel safe, sabotage sets in and down you go back to the bottom of that figure 8 circle until you're so bored, frustrated, sad and pissed off that you fight your way back up again until lizard brain takes over and the cycle repeats itself.

This week, I decided to go to an unofficial Linchpin meet-up because frankly I love Godin's work, his writing, his thinking and this damn book. It turns out and little did I know, that 819 of these events are scheduled across the world and many have already happened.

Below is a video I shot at the end, where individuals came to the front of San Francisco's Georges' bar and pitched their "linchpin" project in 60 seconds to attendees. By "linchpin" project, I am referring to their passion, the thing that brings out their talent and brilliance, the thing that calls their authentic voice, and the thing that makes their hearts sing. The group was a combination of entrepreneurs, bloggers and non-profit evangelists. Have a listen:

Facebook's Zuckerberg On Privacy, Plug-Ins & Personalization

People were anxious to see Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg on the D Conference stage this past Wednesday night, where Walt Mossberg and Kara Swisher interviewed him in front of several hundred movers and shakers in the technology industry. The eagerness was no grave surprise given the recent surge of media attention around Facebook's privacy policies.

At the end of the day, it's not just about whether your privacy settings are in place, it's about ensuring consumers know about them and prompting them to proactively set them up in a way where they feel their privacy is protected.

Kara asks Zuckerberg, "is there a level of privacy that applies to everyone?" Far too scripted and programmed, he starts off with a statement that suggests Faceook takes privacy seriously. Hmmmm, starting when you heard you were going to be on stage in front of some pretty influential people?

He dodges the real issue, which again, is not so much whether a policy is in place, but proactively letting consumers know they should check their privacy settings again and again, and proactively letting consumers know where and how their data will be used, again and again. And, making it dead simple to understand what the settings mean for each feature.

Zuckerberg reminds the audience that simple privacy control has always been part of Facebook from the beginning. He throws out a stat to support his claim - "more than 50% of Facebook users has changed a privacy setting at some point while on Facebook. It's a signal that on a whole, we've got it right." Hmmmm, I'd say they've got it right when that 50% number moves to 90% or higher.

Kara asks, "do you think that it's just a backlash? Do you feel that you're violating people's privacy?"

Another dodging of the bullet. "Now," says Zuckerkberg, "we're trying to extend things outside Facebook. We want to build people-centric apps so we're doing more social plug-ins, which means you can easily and quickly insert a single line of code into your site, adding personalization in a matter of minutes." He adds, "over 200,000 sites have started to use social plug-ins and social engagement has gone up two fold. Personalization is the other side - we're trying to make it so that all these sites are designed around people, with people at the core.

At one point, he went back to the original story of how and where Facebook started in his college dorm room, obviously an awkward moment where he felt uncomfortable in his skin, or at least his skin in front of hundreds of eyes and ears who wanted some hard answers. It was out of context and his meandering at times made him sound and look defensive. I wished he did the right PR move in this situation, which was frankly just to address the situation head on, be authentic, talk about what happened and what they plan to do to fix things moving forward.

I was thinking - 'instead of an overly rehearsed script, just engage us Mark.' Perhaps something along the lines of: "you know, we made some mistakes. This is where we went wrong, this is what we did wrong, this is what we learned and what we could have done differently. That said, we care about our customers, we're listening to them, we made a mistake, we're addressing it, turning the boat 180 degrees and we're on board. We understand that privacy is an important issue and that people view it differently in various parts of the world. As our user base grows around the world, we recognize that everyone has a different view of what privacy is, what content they want to show, to who and when. We get that, are learning from our customers along the way and will continue to adapt and adopt as we learn more. We heard you! Onward team of Facebook loyalists and fans. Together, let's move forward."

Perhaps a tad dramatic, but you get my point. Be AUTHENTIC, be honest and show your true colors so we can get a sense of whether we can trust you as the man leading the charge. I'd also add, unveil what's under the hood, and I don't mean his infamous hoodie, I mean the soul of his hood. On that note, he began to sweat and took off his hoodie while people snapped photos (as if he was George Clooney). Did I miss something?

The hoodie comes off

All that said, his voice had strength despite the meandering throughout and he did manage to get one rehearsed mantra right - one of their core values, which is that they are focused on people and that they're building things that will continue to put people at the core. He says, "when you go to a site like Pandora or Yelp, it's not immediately clear what you're going to get. We're doing a push around plug-ins and personalization - we think all these apps should have people central at the core.

"But," Walt pipes in and pushes back, "shouldn't people have a choice. Shouldn't they be making the decision?"

Zuckerberg returns to their core offering and value-add. "The direction that we're going is to build and drive apps around people. Yelp is an interesting example - there, what you really want is to see is what the friends you trust and like suggest, what they're connected to and why and what they give a thumbs up to."

Walt asks - "what is the social graph and how can it be monetized in a way that is fair so people can be included in it?" Says Zuckerberg, "it was our way of explaining what was happening in the world. We were just trying to map out the connections that people were having. We wanted to enable this broader platform so people can build games, and personalize things for them."

Kara asks, "how do you view your role in the graph? What kind of power are you in the graph?" Zuckerberg responds, "I think people rely on us to stay connected to their friends and people see us as the leader in that space. Having a half a billion users is certainly a milestone we're proud of - we're actually at the beginning not at the end. We grow because people refer their friends to the site. Everyone who signs up does so because a friend has referred them to the site. We'll continue to do what we think are the right changes, even if some are controversal."

They dive into the social graph a bit more. Walt asks, "how does the social graph become monetized?" Zuckerberg says, "the advertising will get much more relevant than in a lot of other systems really quickly. There are a lot of ads in the system so there's more to draw from. The other piece is around engagement and ads reflect that as well. A good example is what we're doing with Starbucks. The ad was designed to give free stuff away and people invited their friends to the Starbucks event." It turns out, at least in this case, that people are getting their friends involved in a company's events on the site which is really great for the brand.

Karas asks Zuckerberg whether he'll be the CEO when they go public. "YES," he says, and adds "the next two years will be more transformative than last two. There's so much we're doing around personalization and plug-ins and we're only at the beginning. There's so much still to do."

He wraps up by talking about the importance and growth of SMS, which he says is much more interesting than email. Insight into other things they're working on? He emphasizes how more and more people are posting status updates than blog posts."There's a huge opportunity to work on services that fuse shorter forms of communication and less formal stuff together." A valid point Mark and despite my earlier rant, he had a few good ones. He's no dummy - and clearly the man has passion. He just needs to loosen up a bit more and FEEL his audience rather than go on the defense, even when things heat up.

Zuckerberg's lack of experience and youth may be a detriment at times like this but hey, as as they say from a place of wisdom about the long road of life -it's all but a journey my friend. And let's face it, it's all about the journey; that dramatic, joyous and often bumpy journey of growth is the reward. Once you realize that, the wanna, shoulda, coulda, whata just fades away into the background like the unimportant noise it really is.

Be Passionate About What You Do - Don't Chase the Paper!

Tony Hsieh asks an entrepreneurial crowd at an event last week in San Francisco a very important question. Can you answer it? Are you doing it?

Sustaining Happiness: Part IV (Be part of something bigger than yourself)

Part IV of Zappos' Tony Hsieh on sustaining happiness. Here are links to Part III, part I here and part II here.

Sustaining Happiness: Part III (Don't chase the paper, chase the dream)

Below is Part III of the video I shot of Zappos' Tony Hsieh's talk on sustainable happiness in San Francisco earlier this week. Part I of the video here and Part II can be found here.

Sustaining Happiness: Part II (Align your company with your values)

Below is part II of Zappos' Tony Hsieh's talk on Sustainable Happiness from the VatorSplash event in San Francisco Thursday night. Part I can be found here.