No More Degrees of.....Please

I loved Lance Ulanoff's Six Degrees of Who Cares column in PC Magazine. I've actually been thinking of writing an entire blog post about LinkedIn and related services for awhile now, particularly after a recent incident.

I've often been described as a 'gatekeeper' by industry pals and for those of us who live our lives as "Human LinkedIns," a service that does the same thing becomes a filtering nightmare. As Lance points out, people are starting to abuse the system by sending out invites to people they have never met, so they can grow their network.

Sadly, I have nearly 1100 contacts and know everyone except for one person in Europe, who after a few email exchanges, I decided to link to for a client related reason. The issue is not that I know everyone, its how well I know them.....some I met at a conference once or twice and others I've known for 10+ years or longer.

I don't have time to rank each one of them as they come in or as I invite them....nor should I have to. (although its a great way for others to know who's in the inside circle....yes this is of value, but I don't want everyone knowing who I'm close to and who I'm not).....

I met someone briefly at a conference recently and while I had a nice dialogue with her and felt comfortable 'enough' to link to her via the LinkedIn network, I wasn't so comfortable connecting her to a reporter at the WSJ or NY Times, which is what she requested within moments of us being 'linked.' It was an awkward moment because the rejection was taken personally. It made me want to 'link no more.' That and the fact that I receive about 25 LinkedIn requests every day.

I need to hire an assistant just to deal with my LinkedIn requests....that or offend people by either not responding or at times, saying No I'm not comfortable forwarding this along. Obviously it depends on what the request is but more importantly, how well I know them and who I'm connecting them to. An introduction can be powerful and shouldn't be taken lightly. I value the people I've met in the industry over the years but understand that there are parameters and something called boundaries that I need to respect.

LinkedIn is a valuable tool, but let's not abuse it please. And....rejections 'should not' be taken personally. Over time, as relationships develop, additional opportunities arise for new introductions. How is this any different from someone picking up the phone and asking a favor? I wouldn't ask the same favor from someone I talked to at a conference for an hour that I would from someone I worked with in three companies.

That said, it doesn't mean if I talk to an engineer with a strong background in collaboration tools at a conference for two hours, that I may not introduce him to a company who may in fact be looking for someone with a related background.....I cannot recommend him, but I may make the introduction. I may not. Doesn't it depend? Doesn't everything in business and life depend?

Says Lance as he references his and Ben Gottesman's experience: "we've both recently been victims of people in the LinkedIn networks who were trying, by sending invite e-mails through the service, to enlarge their own networks for some kind of personal or business gain."

Note he uses the word victim. If people continue to abuse the service, we'll all start to feel like victims. Do I invite people I don't know 'all that well' to join the network? Sure, because there is value in doing so....and hopefully by realizing what is similar and where there are mutual passions, we can continue a dialogue, more likely make that lunch date happen and hope to grow the relationship over time.

"Real networking - meaning authentic networking" takes time. Years. Trust me, I've but thousands and thousands of hours into it over the last two decades. And it never stops. For us gatekeepers and 'human linkedins,' networking becomes an integrated part of our lives. We live, think and breathe it. For me, its largely because I'm genuinely interested in people and seeing new ideas, companies and relationships flourish because of a connection that leads to another connection or idea and so on.

Adds Lance about some of the people who have contacted him...."Often they don't even bother to rewrite LinkedIn's boilerplate greeting text. So the e-mail invite sounds robotic, cold, and patently uninviting." Because of this, he feels that LinkedIn's approach is invasive.

It doesn't have to be, depending on how people use it, but sadly abuse is taking over, just like spam did with email. People who use this formal template approach with LinkedIn are the ones who will eventually 'kill the value' of and use of this kind of social and business networking service.

I really related to his last comment: "In LinkedIn I have just 11 connections, but 114,000+ people in my "network." I have just three friends on Friendster, but over 1,100 "three-degree" connections. These numbers do not encourage me; instead they make me feel a little empty inside." Here here Lance. I have close to a million people in my so called network and it makes me feel a little empty inside too.