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« From Pema Chodron's When Things Fall Apart | Main | Year Without a Tree »

December 27, 2003

Missing All Alone

I don't think about him several times a day anymore, but his face, voice and laugh still fills my mind at least once a day. And this month, more. The holidays are particularly hard without family to share the memory with.

I know I'm beyond the denial stage, yet I still can't quite come to grips with the fact that my grandfather is no longer a physical part of my life. Forever gone and yet never gone. While I know his soul is at peace 'somewhere' within this universe and is part of my soul in so many ways, the reminder that I can no longer give him a hug or hear his voice is the darkest hole I have ever known.

I often feel his presence yet when I have the urge to pick up the phone, his voice doesn't answer. Without him, regardless of the size of the crowd or the roar of the laughter, I feel alone. Very alone. Those who have ever had to grieve for the person they have loved more than life itself knows this darkness.

Merry Christmas my dear Thoo wherever you are. Know that you are missed deeply, dearly, intensely. And know that you were always and will always be loved.......more than mere words can ever describe.

DEATHS TRIAD, by Paul McCann

Alone
When death shall come who can say,
Go away I'm not at home.
For death is like a final knock.
We face it all alone.

Awake
Tell me have you heard of heaven,
and do they know you're there?
This world is almost like a womb,
eternal life we'll share.

A Silence
There is no pain or anger.
I have nothing left to say.
In a place of peace,
For death has taken it all away.

December 27, 2003 in On Poems, Literature & Stuff, Reflections | Permalink

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